The words that you believe in –
Where did they come from?
Do you remember a time when you were just forming in your mind
the phrase that you now espouse in perfect meter and perfect rhyme?
You didn’t always believe those things.
Those frightened, feeble things.
You used to be cool.
Someone that I could believe in.
But those words, those wild, weird words that you believe in,
Wherever did they come from?

I took stock once of all the things that I did not know
and I found that I could not keep count –
I would rather tally stars.

But when I recalled all of the things that I knew
to be true,
I could not help but celebrate myself for my perceptive genius,
my wit, and my prophetic vision, let’s call it?

I mean, I’m quite sure that I was the first child ever
to realize that light could bounce off water.
And I kept this sweet, sweet knowledge to myself
and didn’t tell anybody.
Not even my grade six French Immersion teacher,
When she slipped on ice and broke her elbow.

Because knowledge is power. And I know knowledge.
I have seen books. On and off shelves.
Open and closed. And, let me tell you,
There’s nothing more arousing than an open book
– you know what I mean?
Those hard covers, the playful dog-ears,
the aging pages dressed all in black – ink.
I could tear it all up!
And set it on fire, it gets me so hot!

And I wrote this poem in the ashes of Ulysses,
The Odyssey, and the Metamorphoses
because the best way to write a poem is when
you mix it right in with the old, moldy books
that have been cooked to a crisp.

How do you think Khubla Khan was written?
With the help of opium? Pbbt
Coleridge just burned a bunch of books behind the barn.
Took a stick and wrote away until the wind blew half the poem away!

And I know that this particular historical fact is true because I believe it.
And I only believe things that are true, so, therefore,
I am right all the time.
And, trust me, I don’t mean to brag but,
it truly is an incredible feeling to know everything all the time.
I don’t need tutors, instructors, coaches, “spiritual” leaders, life coaches,
professional advisers, OR accountants.
I can do my own taxes because I understand ALL of the law, in its entirety,
and not even some judges can say that. Just sayin’..
Now, I may be getting audited, but that’s ok
because I know why I’m getting audited,
and it’s because the government doesn’t like
my wardrobe of black leather.
Or, my history of library arson.
But, you buy one Daddy collar too many and suddenly
the CRA is all up in your ass – figuratively, of course.

And, I hope you can all sit on what I’ve said, and think it over.
Because every word is true, right down to the book-burning.